Losses That Kill
by Logan Woodruff
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING! SELF HARM AND SUICIDE Sam gets killed and Dean attempts suicide. Can they save him?
1. chapter 1

TRIGGER WARNING ️ self harm and suicide.

For anyone struggling, don't be scared to get help. :)

 **A week ago**

"Im so sorry...I can't bring him back." Castiel collapsed, a string of blood hanging from his mouth. "Cas!" Dean yelped as more blood steamed from Castiel's nose and mouth. He rushed over to his brother crying. "Sammy! Sammy can you hear me?" He cursed under his breath. "How...how could you..Dammit." Lucifer grinned as he just disappeared. "I HATE the devil." Dean cried. Something Winchester's don't do. But he cried all night. He cried because when Lucifer killed his brother, there was an unforgiving hole in his heart for that dick. One he needed to be shoved in and suffocated in.

 **Present Day**

 _Clink._ Castiel heard the noise of another beer being pulled out of the fridge. He knew Dean was taking Sams death too hard. He couldn't say anything, he had become very sick after the spell Lucifer put on him. He lost his voice as Dean called it. Then he heard his friend bust out crying. "Dean I'm sorry but-" He was only able to say this before another coughing fit struck, great, now he wouldn't be able to say anything for an hour. "Oh shut up feathers. Save your breath. Get better. Go to sleep." Then Cas' head began aching. "Dean, my head..." He collapsed. "Shit! Cas! Cas? Can you hear me? Cas!?" Dean uselessly questioned the angel. He knew he'd be fine. It's happened before. So while he was out, Dean could relieve himself of the pain he felt. He went to the bathroom. There he lifted up his sleeve to reveal about 20 cuts. "I'm so sorry Sammy." He mumbled before making another large cut. He decided to go further however. He went to his bedroom, and got a piece of paper and pen. His hands shaking, he wrote:

 ** _Dear Cas,_**

 ** _I'm so sorry, but it's not your fault. It's my fault Sammy died. If I had just protected him instead of being mad at him for yelling, he would have still been here. By the time you finish this, I'll be gone. I need to be with my brother. I'll see you..._**

 ** _Xx -Dean_**

After this, he looked at Cas for one final time and then returned to the bathroom. He took the blade and cut deep into his vein. He heard scuffling. Shit. Cas saw the note. Dean hurried to lock the door, but collapsed. The last thing he saw was Cas, crying.

Dean woke up in darkness. "I'm

Back hell." He commented. "No you arent." Castiel's voice cracked. "You're here, with me, in a hospital Dean. I found Sam in the morgue and revived him. But he had to get some air, so he'll be back. But you've been out for a few days. Major blood loss and head trauma from where you fell." "Shit." "No, thank God." Sam walked in. "Dean, i love you and all, but please never go kill yourself over me. You're being hospitalized for a week. I'm sorry. We'll do whatever you want when you get out." Dean accepted.

 ** _So do we want a sequel?_**


	2. Chaper 2

Chapter 2

The doctor came in the room. "Hello Mr. Winchester." "Just Dean, please." Dean smiled. "Uh, anyway I'm Dr. Franke, and I'll be your-" He was cut off. "Yeah yeah I know whatever. So what's going on? What's gonna happen to me?" Dean asked. "Well...Dean, we're admitting you to the psychiatric ward, until you recover. But I need to fill out your chart so, tell me why did you attempt suicide?" Everybody looked nervous. He couldn't just say that his brother died and blah blah blah, could he? Would he? They hoped not. "Um, recent family member death. My mom, we were close." Dean spat out. "That must've been very hard for the both of you then." Dr. Franke said sympathetically. Sam nodded. He looked at Castiel. "So are you the father?" "Erm, I-uh.." He stuttered. Sam looked hopefully, and angrily. "I- yes I am. My name is John Winchester." Castiel lied. "Okay, I'm so sorry for your losses." He wrote on the clipboard for a few seconds. "So do you take medication sir?" Dean nodded his head no. He silently wrote more. "Okay, you're all set. We'll have you transferred by tomorrow!" He squealed. He seemed happy. Why? Nobody really knew. Someone almost died for Gods sake. A few hours later nurses came in with a gurney to roll Dean to the ward. "Hey hot stuff..." Dean flirted. Sam shot a look at him. He stopped and frowned. "What I cant have a little fun Sammy? I almost died!" Sam rolled his eyes. "Why'd you revive me Cas?" Castiel gave a confused look.

 **Sorry it's short I'm kind of short on time! Subscribe to my YouTube for spn material!**

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